exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
