Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
