that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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