I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
