And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
