Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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