i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
