remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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