i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
