your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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