I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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