we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
