carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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