New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
