Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
