So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You ate ashes out of my bong
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
