Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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