How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
