Don't you send me to vm
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We were destined to go to rehab together
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
