I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
