dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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