im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
