I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
