Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
