With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
