I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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