whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
