dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My dick has a subreddit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
