So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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