I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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