bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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