i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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