i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
