You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
