I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
