think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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