So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
