Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well you can't waste a boner
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
