i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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