i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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