The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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