I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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