you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
