tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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