Dual....:-)
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize