For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I cockslap morals
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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