ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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