"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
