I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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