He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
