Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
