; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
