Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
