Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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