listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
