So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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