69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
