question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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