Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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