sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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