He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize