ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
