Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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