I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
