I wanna bring you to show and tell
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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