Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
