Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
