No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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