We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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