Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
